Stop Trying to Be Liked

By Paul Gordon

Stop Trying to Be Liked

The need to be liked reeks of insecurity, and people smell it from across the room.

When desperation comes off your delivery, the audience doesn't lean in — they back away from the cringe. That backing-away is the cost of "please like me," and most presenters are paying it without knowing. Reaching to be liked is just performing safety wearing a friendlier face.

Stand for something instead of falling for anything

Being open to other views is fine. Being so hungry for agreement that you'd quietly trade away your own position is not. So make a pact: don't go spineless, don't disrespect your own ideas, and don't put being liked above saying the thing you actually value.

Say the real answers. Name the gems people know but won't admit. Explain the ugly realities. And not different-for-the-sake-of-different — doing it differently so you'll be liked for being different is the same trap in a costume.

The payoff

The moment you stop reaching for it, the quality of the people who like your work goes up. Anyone can collect fans who don't care. You're building a crew who do — and the first filter is your willingness to stop performing for everyone and just mean it.

Take it further

Re-watch a recent video and count the hedges and the soft middles. Each one is a place you reached to be liked. Awareness comes first.

The full system — every exercise and the 36-day practice — lives in the book MEAN IT. and the 5 Minute CEO program. Work with Paul →

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